suigeneris

2010-05-07T10:30:00.000+08:00

Shifted~ and I'm so gonna miss the sofa..

www.suigeneris003.wordpress.com

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2010-04-17T13:26:00.001+08:00

sometimes...

like now..
I just feel that I'm the shittiest teacher around.

2010-04-13T22:38:00.000+08:00

The main intention of maintaining a blog is to just blabber how i'm feeling, it is a rubbish bin for my feelings..

You know...Some things are too minute to go around smsing everybardy about..

Some huge issues were blurted out because at that point in time, I need an avenue to voice out because probably whoever I wanna talk to can't be communicated thru directly...

and....

Like I've mention for numerous times.. If u have access, you are probably someone close... a Pri sch, sec sch, poly or NIE friend... Because I have set it in such a way that u won't quite be able to search thru any search engines..

Ok..the thing is...I think gossips are inevitable and I always wanna stand firm on the belief that Wenda used to always preach... (I wanna credit him becos that is like one of the best takeaways of that relationship :p) U can bitch all you want, at the end of the day, the truth will resurface..

Although yes.. sometimes.... It might take years..

So ya.. My point is.. You CAN bitch.. I TRY my best not to give a damn.... Since it was my choice to post it up in the www....

The thing is... This blog wasn't meant to hurt, to irritate, to make everything else worse..

But after chatting with Mr Bestie, I think things have gotten out of hand a few times and I was being kept mum about... Until today..

As friends, I really know and truly appreciate good intentions, but before delivering those good intentions, can our feelings be thought through?

I was fuming when I heard the things that were done..

We aren't little kids anymore....... I really really know the intentions were good but the actions were really uncalled for......

I can't imagine how would I have taken it if I was there and thank god I wasn't.

Truly, if it could work... it would have worked.

Really.. if it was meant to be........ it eventually will be.

Similarly, if it wasnt, even if you tie us, cuff us or whatever you are gonna do, just wouldn't bring us back together.

So ya.. you get the drift?

I am currently happy being free from heartache(self-imposed or not) for a long time, although I must admit, the boredom irks me to no end but ya.. I'm truly happy

and from the email + last time I met him, the radiating smile and everything else gives me the positive vibes that he is well and good and happy with the life he is leading.

So all the GOOD intentions should just come to a HALT.

Ever since so darn long ago, I have already set up another blog when I could lock specific posts..

but I had no time to get in go into full swing yet.

and cos that server doesnt allow my current template to go along..

so I'm rather reluctant..

But.. i'm going to shift soon..now that I know it had bring about such torment....

so till then till then..

2010-04-11T12:56:00.003+08:00

Weekends are too shortttt

but seriously..
if there was a longer weekeed,
it would also be used to do work.
so many things to complete..

especially this week...
it is siao-ness.
siao siao siao.

no time to play.
I need more 'say really' sessions to be sane.

2010-04-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

Randoms...

Darn big patch of orh-cheh cos I banged into the blardy bus stop bench. It is fuglyyyy..

When will i stop being clumsy? Haha.. Never?

Pardon the corkeye face.Finally got my bootsy shoes from Nike, but would I have the courage to don it? Hahaha..
How many daggers is it worth?

Damn implusive lately.
Just like now.

A last random tot..

Pleasure with pain?
Or
Happiness with lonliness?

Hmmmm...

2010-04-06T20:44:00.002+08:00

the literally pain-in-the-ass problem is back
like welcome mannnnnnnnnnnn
the doctor did said it will resurface again .. but... too soooooooonnnnnn?
can you just blardy dissappear and come back in June or December?

s.u.r.g.e.r.y. is a scary word.
:(

2010-04-05T22:19:00.002+08:00

Sporty Xian

Just came back from a netball game..
and I can't believe I'm going for a tournament this Saturday!!
Yikes Yikes Yikes!!

I really had fun tonight..playing with mixed bunch of nice peeps...although guys included, they were nice gentle giants.. :D
TC was saying on Sat, the ladies there will be much more garang and I'm scared already!!

Anywaysss...It was great to jump around.. it feels great! Jen was even saying we're gonna make it a ritual. Cant wait...but would we have the time? hmm...

Wish me luck no matter what ya..
I needs lots of that so as not to look like a bimb on Sat :p

and a mental note to shave armpits!
:x teeheehee~

2010-04-03T14:02:00.003+08:00

Breakfast

Let's do breakfast one morning leh, anyone?

I've been craving for it the longest time...... Egg Benedict type. looks yum.

It spans all the way back when I still had a permanent someone to nag.. I was already nagging for this type of breakfast..

Wild Honey?

www.wildhoney.com.sg

2010-03-30T23:16:00.001+08:00

It is one of those nights again...
Prolly because I had too much fun over the weekend...
Not used to not having aching laughter (say really..) hahaha

Thursday seems so far away..
Pump Room awaits and Clashing the Titans with the big gang on fri! Can't wait!

Shift the negs away~
off to clear my never ending work

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2010-03-25T00:29:00.002+08:00

Checking into Heartbreak Hotel

I thought I was ready.

The reply from that email sent me straight back into heartbreak hotel again.
It WASNT a mean email from it.
Everything is so politically correct and straight forward that it hurts.......

To throw it back straight in the face that the man that I pinned so much hopes on
this man and his reply just shows me right up till this point, after spending almost near to 3 years of many moments together, this man still failed to know what makes my heartaches so bad.

I promise myself, this will be my last sobbing session.

2010-03-15T18:13:00.002+08:00

Bless me some meat

I'm trying.. really trying hard to grow some meat on my body these days.

Just can't seem to stuff food down the throat too much or i'll gagggggggggggggg..

gagging is like a daily ritual.

gag gag gag.

After the carnival, was bathing in school so had the chance to looked into the 4 blardy big mirrors and saw how disgusting my body looked.

For a moment, I was thinking.........who is that anorexic bitch?

YIKES me.

haha.. get it?

2010-03-11T22:13:00.002+08:00

It was one of those ultra stressful days, everything just came at one go..

and it just seems like nothing I do is ever going right.

One challenge after another..

At one point I was so stressed up I nearly broke down and want to just break into sobs right there and then at my desk...

Now..there isn't anyone else to tell to at the end of the day..

no more opinions..

Just me, myself and I

Bit my lips, gritted my teeth and told myself to stand strong, stand strong...

If it doesn't kill you,it just makes you stronger.....

the thing is, sometimes, I would rather be killed than be standing strong.

hahaha

2010-02-27T18:59:00.000+08:00

Does your work pile up like nobody's business yet there is no motivation to complete it?
Procrastination to the max..

I keep questioning myself and I can't seem to find the answer.

When the weekends come I just wanna sleep like a dead log

I just know with each passing day.. I am so dead... So dead...

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2010-02-27T16:23:00.001+08:00

Aaa

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2010-02-09T00:47:00.002+08:00

Letting go

Letting go of Ritz Carlton 2D1N stay(14th and 15th)
$400+ buckaroos.
Interested lemme noe QUICK!

http://www.ritzcarlton.com/en/Properties/Singapore/Default.htm

2010-02-08T06:47:00.002+08:00

Trust

Although straight in the face, you told me a lie that NO, you did not initiate to go to dinner with Serene-the-ex

And based on the fact that you blatantly told me that you would not reject if Hannah-the-bitchor any sort of woman that behaves the same way if she asks you for lunch/dinner if it is BUSINESS-RELATED (although you claim that you will be too busy and I also wonder how do you define BUSINESS)

And mostly based on the fact that I love you too much to let go..

This relationship is still hanging on to a thin string..

With no assurances of any sort and only based on mutual trust, or sld I even say it’s not mutual cos again I seem to be the only one acting and playing along…

I am still holding on, for god-knows-how-long my heart can take.

It almost seems I'm worthless..
But really.....
I am useless isnt it?
:~(

2010-02-08T02:13:00.003+08:00

Rough patch

Wise choice:
Don't listen, just shut ur ears automatically, turn ur face away and give a damn irritated shut-up-la-bitch look

Stupid choice:
To CHOOSE.......... to listen to the truth that hurts
Let the truth bite and slowly chew off any bit of sanity that is left......

every open communication just sends him further away.
who says communicating makes everything better, it doesnt.....

and yes, I always make the stupid choice.

2010-01-24T11:39:00.002+08:00

Randoms

Now I really truly understand what they mean by busy.........
I'm just going with the flow...
floating~~~

How are you babes?
Kai, shuping, yuanting, ah zhen, chriel and nana..
and everyevery one else?
miss u babes like really-gng-crazy type of missing :(

i bot the Iphone a week earlier( weetz, internet on the gogogo),
din even have the time to tell everyone my new number.
-__-

and i lost my fox whistle (12 freaking buckaroos)
together with my lanyard n fifilapin(priceless - gift from jasmine)
and and and my singtel dongle ($100++++ if I were to replaced)
and most imptly, my staff pass...

but you know what.....
I placed my name card in actually, (go do it to yours now)
and this kind soul gave a call back to my schol 3 days later...
so I went back to their shop and get it..
and blasted $100+ in the shop.... bahahhaha..

like "same difference" if ah zhen was gonna put it.
but glad everything is back.
=)

The real NeoDarDar is back.
*mwakies mwakies mwakies*

So now...Motivation, can you come back, pls?

2010-01-16T11:11:00.003+08:00

How does it feel like to be a woman behind the successful man?

Loneliness?
Empty?

I deemed him as the successful man..
but I dunno if I'm the woman behind.
The feeling of loneliness and emptiness just creeps in even though I am so busy with my own work.

Why are friends or games worth to stay up late?
Why is work worth to wake up early?
Why am I not worth waking up early or staying up late?

I know that priority is given to friends/family/personal time because I believe that they are the people/things that would continue to help and bring you to greater levels of success, while I, on the other hand play a really small part, hence given that really small part of the time.

Does that few minutes, when I'm in dizzy state of mind, waiting to sleep... considered our date?
I no longer want to keep track the number of smses we send per day..the number of times I hear your voice.. it's so miserable to count and also...
because I know work is what brings in future.
I really know...

does it mean the love from one date has to spread within many many days of emptiness so I continue to feel loved?
does the future mean the continuity of such a lifestyle I have to bear?
but does the future brings me in with it?

but really,
am I really going to be the woman behind or am I just a makeshift pillar behind you?
so that when someone better comes along, the both of you can enjoy the fruits of labour while I move on to be another makeshift pillar?

I really wanna hear your side of the story
but..we wouldnt have the time right?

2010-01-07T20:32:00.002+08:00

Lansing lessons~

I'm looking for a lan-sing teacher who can cheoreograph dance moves and teach us how to dance.
You must think I'm crazy..
so busy still go learn lansing..

but actually..
It's for my kids...
We're gonna have this damn big event and I dun think I have the time and alamak, teach them dancing.. hahaha.......

Any lobangs call/sms me yeah? :)

2010-01-05T21:33:00.002+08:00

Resolutions

hahaha.. a bit late right?
but I've actually mentally planned them a few weeks before the year ended.

"reminisce" a bit

2009 was a traumatising year for me. like....

Lots of people in my family (including myself) falling really sick. FYI, Ms. UTI visited me again, FULL FORCE.Baa

and there was the wake-up-call to our relationship. yikes! the 2-3 freaking mths felt like years
trauma trauma mama~

but then there were were many happy things oso la...

like our graduation from NIE (or is it supposed to be in the trauma list?) haa

and attending many many weddings :).. yahor, emcee-ing belongs up there. haahahha~

and I just looked back and realised I went to Malacca.. and oh yeah.. How can I even forget my virgin HK trip :D

anyhoooties..
I'm determined to make everything better.
Just giving my best in everything possible.
Stretching my limits really.
must really work hard on the family bonding side. (bad gal I am)

not stating my resolutions out.
ish paiseh.
hee.

i'm off.
to do work.
to sayang~ dar.
to bathe.

tell me ur resos kayz.
hee~

2010-01-04T20:28:00.002+08:00

insecure

who would really understand the turmoil, fustrations..the pain?
do u feel insecure at times? many many times? how do u handle it?
are you like that too?

sad to say..sometimes, I really feel like i'm suffering..suffocating.
I blame it to my lack self-confidence, so much of it.
what is just wrong with me?

no matter how much I try to self-console...
it doesnt seem to work
the feelings inside seemed so overwhelming at times
so much so I can cry just by thinking,typing.

I have many people to talk to..
but the only person i truly want to talk to wouldnt listen.

something is just wrong.
me?

2009-12-27T19:36:00.002+08:00

Crazily Beezay Xmas

How was ur Xmas?
Just saw Nana's xmas party pic on facebook and was drooling...
the spread is fantas la!!!!!

I was really busy.. or shuld I say we (NeoDarDar and I)
Attending ~~parties~~ party, watching movies and catching up with NeoDarDar's friends!!

Supposedly, we were to go for 2 house parties this year..
and we attended one cos the other one was spent..
with me being tear-filled and him for the first time ever spewing out that FORBIDDEN WORD under a void deck. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
I even prepared A POT of my legendary mango sago and 2 alu-trays of Tiramisu..
Wth the leftovers sitting at his fridge now. bah!
Anyway... all is well after that night.
(but I cannot stop suan-ing him about the forbidden word incident. :p)

We watched two movies over this Xmas holidays!!
One is the much raved Avatar (in 3D) and the other one is a painful show... Bodyguards and Assassins..

Avatar
Every single person is telling me it is a must must must and you-dun-watch-you-will-die show
But both of us just felt it was ok la...
Maybe we heard too much or something.
Storyline sort of expected.. I felt~

Bodyguards and Assassins
We just watched it this MORNING.
Our morning refers to not-even-when-the-sun-comes-out... at an unearthly timing of 4AM!
*yikes*
Perks - The GV popcorn guys gave us 2 cheesedogs extra.. heh heh
Show was good but very painful cos of all the fighting and all..
But I thought it was good to know the other side of the Sun Yat Sen Revolution story
:)

Only over two days I've met quite a few of dar's "groupie"
His SC colleagues and Sec sch mates in a gift exchange, I really ought to post my xmas gift pic. The theme was old-school, you go and guess what we got..
I've got 2 pressies cos...............................
he dont want his..
hahahaha..

I'm getting oh-so-wordy but really too busy or sld I say lazy to post the peektures up.
I'll get down to Day 2 HK soon, wanna blog everything down before sch opens.

and it sucks to have the rushing-assignments feeling during our hols the whole time!!!
It is 27Dec today, sad to say that everything is coming to an end soon and my prep work is so backlogggggeeeeedddd...
Kill meeeeeee... I was still talking about increasing my efficiency and effectiveness.
what bullshit.......................

2009-12-20T12:26:00.002+08:00

Getting to nowhere

I'm really busy nowadays and the thing about it is like..
Nothing much is being accomplished in particular.
sucks man.

and seems like not much time is left before sch reopens soon.
I'm in panaroid mode now cos I cannot complete what I have aimed to completeeeeeeeeeeeee~
too much too much.
yikes.

and i wanna blog about HK day 2 onwards.
just no time la.

2009-12-17T14:15:00.001+08:00

Quote of the day

Kio-ing takes forever...

and u seriously gotta be "HEN3"
just throw throw throw..
like how I threw all the flowers away.
tsk tsk tsk~

2009-12-13T11:21:00.002+08:00

Have you ever?

I've been so sick yesterday..
just so suddenly..

I woke up with the stomach churning..went to vomit and WHILE vomitting..
I was LS-ing...
it was simultaneously man~ have you ever tried that?
and that went on for 3-4 more times...

almost dead.
finally got better with he TLC from mama, ah ma and MrNeoDarDar..
Phew~

2009-12-11T20:55:00.002+08:00

HK Day 1.. Wee~

Anticipated so long to get away...
even for a short while... it was good..

Prior to the trip..

I've already made much preparations..
Bought VS weekender.. although heavy.. but it's so nice, I just couldnt resist!!
heh heh~

and the eye mask which I chanced upon while shopping..
So blingy and girly.. yet again.. I just have to get it!!

The flight was 6.40am and we had to reach by 4+..
Dar's bro brought us there and we reached the airport at 3.45am!!!
hahahaha~ so freaking early..

Dar was in JB the day for a friend's wedding and he did not sleep for 24 hrs..
so he zonked out like crazy on the plane!!
hahaha

It was freaking cold when we touched down..
and I wore my xmas pressie immediately we we got down the plane! =)
The "snow cap" from Fossil =)

Look at the pic of the hotel..
only abt 80+bucks SGD/nite..
it was really worth it..
Given the fantastic location,the cleanliness and everything else..
It scored 5 stars in my heart already!!!
Largos Hotel btw...

We washed up and headed to Tsim Tsa Tsui immediately!!
The shopping district.. wee~
Actually I'm quite disappointed cos I only managed to buy a top from H&M and there was nothing really fantastic about the shopping in HK...

The luxe brand stores are amazing though..
few storeys high each.. and the queue is scarily long every time!! like about 40-50 pax q-ing outside Gucci, LV and Chanel and it is considered not a lot!!

-__-

we took mtr to everywhere basically..
so convenient..and CHEAP!!!

but on Day 1 something disastrous actually happened and I can say I'm lucky I came back alive and/or not disfigured!!

ok....story goes...

I was walking along the streets at TST.. and I saw those wooden construction scaffolding (which was quite rampant in HK- pic below) and was wondering to myself "aiyoh.. so dangerous, what if someone just throw something down" and immediately... something that felt like a brick just fell from above,banged and slided down the right of nose and on my chin and I didnt know what the hell was that..

It was so painful and I had a feeling it was something made of glass,
The whole time I was just thinking if I was disfigured and everything along that line..

after a few secs when the pain sets in..
I started crying (or was I wailing??) and I kept telling dar "it's so painful, is my face ok?"
The best thing was.. we still stood somewhere near the area and I continued crying for what feels like 5-10 minutes...

and the best best thing was, everyone acted like we were invisible.. and the person working near the site just continued with his discussion and everyone ACTED blur..

so helpless you know..

sobbed until an old ah pek came along and asked in Cantonese - he looked fierce and dar tot he was scolding us -__-(btw, both of us dun speak canton and dar noes NUTS about canton and I can only briefly understand).. "ARE YOU OK?? if you are hurt call the police, if it is a small matter just forget it" and he walked away~

I continued with the sobbing then sobbed all the way to dinner..
So I was unluckily lucky..
If not, I really dont know what would become of me if it was really brick or something..

Till now..
we still dunno what the hell the mysterious object was...
Basically..
I forgot abt the whole incident until yesterday night when we were talking to Auntie Neo..
The nose was sore and it was a bad scare la..
so be careful man..
HK streets are kinda dirty and dangerous really..
my papa told me.. "you dunno got pple throw fridge down before meh?" -________-
I really didnt know and didnt expect myself to get so lucky.

tramatising..so tramatising i'm feeling tired.. wanna get some rest and it's gonna be a shopping day tmr! =)

2009-12-04T11:51:00.003+08:00

Jacob or Edward?

Can't u believe it???
I actually cried last night watching New Moon...
hahahahaha..

I was sobbing uncontrollably @ the last part where she had to choose between the both of them..
and Mr NeoDarDar was giving me the huh!-why-the-hell-issit-worth-crying look..haha

I dun think he realised that..
Way before that, I was already on the verge of crying...
It was so heartwrenching to watch Edward leaving Bella alone and then her displaying the typical breakup-after-effects syndrome.. (minus the screaming in the sleep)
and to hear that the old man died.

Jialat man. :~(
I feel so useless now.

Going for a haircut later~
wee~

2009-12-02T17:36:00.002+08:00

Mission accomplished!

A big pat on my back for being so conscientious these few days and I managed to finish my work today... Weeee~ *oosh oosh to myself*

To reward myself.. I rushed down to Orchard upon receiving the e-mailer on Guess sales!!!
The best thing is... NO SALES!
Arghhh...

But still..it's not a wasted trip because I got myself a pair of shoes I've been eyeing for donkey years and it finally re-appeared again.
so heh-py I tell you...

No matter what it is, I'm gonna relax to the fullest from today onwards till I come back from HK...

Watch confessions of shopaholic..
Go for Facial
Meet up with the babes
Read Read Read!!!!
and just chomp on tidbits and grow fat....

lalalala~

P/S: and did I mention that I'm gonna be a BRIDESMAID AGAIN!
and Eliz had appointed me to be the HEAD BRIDESMAID!!!!
This is my 4th time being a Bridesmaid and the 2nd time being the HEAD..
hahaha~ Time to scout for dresses again.. Weee~

2009-11-30T18:38:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to Papa

Busy weekends I love love love..
From Chriel's housewarming to dinner with colls..
and Sunday was spent celebrating papa's birthday.
Busy catching up on my work now.. heh~

Once again, we are back at Grand Asia Restaurant..
and I really must rave about the food!!
It is so good that I completely forget about taking pictures all the time..
hahaha..
The most heavenly this must be this - the bui bah!

sends u straight to heaven and back. I'm serious man. (cos of the cholestrol.. hahaha)
but seriously good la!

When I say the food is good, it MUST be good..(cos of the picky-ness in me) hahaha!
Must find some time to bring the girlies there.. hee~

Highlight of yesterday was the FLYER outing (again for me but virgin attempt for the rest of my fam)
minus Dajie,Jiefu and Mr NeoDardar :(
Nevertheless, it was fun..

Peektures Peektures!

It was a bright and sunny Sunday, exactly what you would describe in a compo!
The montage is really nice and I love the pic in the centre, so outstanding rite!!

The thing about the flyer is...
You'll just do non-stop clicking until u reach the top..
:)

Amazed by the floating soccer ground and my favourite sexsay curvey Keppel building.
The capsule below was the capsule for dinner and the waiter was also lobo-ing..
caught him takin pictures with his phone non-stop..tsk tsk..

The family pic.. and you can obviously see the 2 stupid camwhores versus the rest..
hahaha~

enuff of self-entertaining.
back to work now.
-__-

2009-11-25T21:11:00.002+08:00

....

I'm amazed by the speed that things are going for me at work..
so no doubt it brings about jealousy.

I hate that feeling, being bitched about over every minute matter.
I hate it when I'm being shamed in front of everyone else just because they are jealous.That's their bloody problem and I really feel like telling it straight in their faces.
I hate hate hate it that I'm damn slow in reacting to all the sacarstic shit. (is there a course or something?arghhh.) but that's what makes me ME you know?
helpless-hence-damn-good-to-bully.

Office politics sucks and I suck at it.
Do you know that it's so hard to thrive in an environment where there are no true friends.
To be so careful about everything little thing that you say... that you are better off being a mute?

To rub salt..
I dunno if it's PMS..
but I just get damn paranoid over little things with dar..
and hence....driving him crazy.. -___-
Luckily..at the end of the day.. he understands..
and I still get my sayangs ~_~

Thank you for being there..
Thank you for listening to the crap.
Thank you for being the only person who believes I can do it.
Thank you for forgiving me for the many times I've zonked out on you.
Can never thank you enough.. you know?
dardar.. thank kew you.
mwaks.

2009-11-22T14:20:00.002+08:00

Like WOW!

Last Friday was the last day for the children..
Played Duck-Duck-Goose with the kids and I was literally gaggling like the goose...
Glad this semester has ended....
:)

Although the experiences were good..
I pray for a less challenging class next year..
Something bad is gonna happen to my body one day if I'm gonna continue with kids like them. I just know it.
Let me take a breather,for now... please.

It's a huge emotional burden for the kids and for me.
As much as I want to, I just can't understand the behaviour sometimes.
I don't think I've put in my best this year.
Definitely can do better.

This is a relatively bad year for me in all aspects but it's getting better, I must say.

Can't wait for December to come sooner!
Hong Kong on 7Dec~10Dec.. (super last minute decision)

and I'm so damn sure I'm so gonna go to MadeWithLove for the class this time round. (any takers?)

and and and... this year's Staff Retreat.. we are going to the ZOO! (like duh! -__-! cos I just went with NeoDarDar few weekends ago)

and hopefully I can plan a successful BBQ party @ home.

Back to work.
:(

2009-10-30T21:06:00.004+08:00

Tioman Peektures

Ive so much to talk about the place, the trip but I'm preparing to go out to meet MrNeo~

Dun noe when I'll be back again.

It'll be a beezay weekend editing the self-praise-is disgrace document.(know whatcha i'm talking about girlies?)

2009-10-30T20:50:00.003+08:00

I've been mia-ing for sucha long time cos of SA2...
Prepping the kids, marking, lecturing.. arghh..

The marking is draining.
Looking at the results pains me :(

and I can't believe that I LOST IT yesterday in front of everyone else. -___-

Every single thing must be learnt the hard way.... tough.
Whenever I go for invigilation in that class, I look at the little faces and I can't help but wonder what would become of them...10 years... 20 years....

the man is super busy as well..
can't wait for his roadshows to end!!
But busyness is good cos MrNeoDarDar is doing well......
What is more satisfying than doing what you like right?
:)

anyway..
Tioman peektures I've edited eonssssss ago..
in the next entry :)

2009-10-06T21:20:00.002+08:00

When the going gets tough.....

When a part of your life lits up..
The other parts start going haywire?
Is it how it works?

I'm struggling with kids.. with colleagues.. with work...
No matter how much I nag, I think nobody ever understands..
Yet I cannot stop nagging...

The stabbing is also killing me..
It's even more draining when there isnt someone to really talk to.

I'm also starting to hallucinate if I'm fit to be where I'm supposed to be.

May the tough gets going....

2009-09-14T20:27:00.001+08:00

So much

So much had been happening..............
I promise I would dig some time to blog about everything soon..
:)

mwaks.

2009-09-08T17:45:00.004+08:00

Boring-ness

You know...
Sometimes you just feel so darn bored and wonder why your phone doesnt ring.

You wonder if your phone service provider is going haywire...
you start suspecting something is wrong with your phone and you have thoughts about changing your phone again..

But....in the nutshell, nobody is just blardy looking for you and you are just darn blardy bored.

this always happens..
For me, at least.

but today was exceptionally weird.
Just when I wanted to catch some winky in the noon...
I had SIX phonecalls and several smses within my 1.5hrs of sleeptime from six different people, ranging from the facial palour, school, friends and blah blah blah.

By the end of the sixth phonecall, I was laughing to myself already.
Like wassap man, today?

whatever it is..
I actually enjoyed it.. hahahha, although it can be quite annoying when mood is bad.
With this...I just realised I really can't take boring-ness and I actually welcome noise anytime man.

disturb me often kay?
:D

2009-09-05T20:37:00.003+08:00

Yayness

Term break is here~~~ WoooHooo!

Although I forsee myself burning my time from mon-fri at the office marking, packing and seeing the kids.. It feels good to have some time to catch up.

I must say this term ended on a good note with Nicholas apologising to me
*mwaks on the head*

Peektures of our Glitter DnD @ PanPac!

The food was fantab I tell you.

Every single dish was mouthwatering good!

It was so good that I keep telling Jenn I wanna hold my wedding dinner there..

Haha.. It was machiam I was getting married soon when I am superly single and available. muahaha~

What's so glitter about me?? hee hee~

My glitter are on my shoes and eyelashes..

Only xiuzhen will know how glitter I am rite?.. hehe

bling bling~

I thonged my hair for the event..
and Jenn was saying that I sld not go for permanent..cos I looked kinda mature in curls
While Lion asked me to go for a change..and tot it looked kinda good
which I was thinking about too..
=)

What say you what say you what say you?

hmmm....
It's a crampy day today. :'(
Totally unexpected and caught me off guard..
Even the Osim heatpad bailed me out the last min -__- Bah!

anyways...
Gonna start my marking session with a cuppa hot chocolate *bliss*
then I'm gonna start taking lessons from my bro the chef. He makes the best non-alcoholic tiramisu in the world man. yumz like crazy!

shopping and chanel tmr~
weeee~

2009-08-30T19:56:00.002+08:00

solitude

Is it the weather?
As I'm out I see so many couples snuggling up as they walk with each other..
The kisses... The Noserubbing (which I used to find quite digusting).. the sai-nai-ing.. or just the head on a shoulder seems to be like a luxury..
So much so I wanna hold someone right away and give big hugs..

Or is it all in the mind?
The desolation can be so much to bear sometimes, really.

Hate myself sounding like some desperado man.(slap slap slap)
Must be the PMS symptoms churning~

and once again,
can you even believe it??
I will be an EMCEE once AGAIN!
For teachers' day tomorrow!

for the third time this year...
Wasssaaaapppp man!

back to the script already.
-_____-

2009-08-26T21:25:00.000+08:00

Shiokedelic Weekend

How I wish....
every weekend is as shiokedelic :)

I love feeling so super shagadelic...
On sat nite... I SAT down on my bed and fell asleep..
If ah ma didnt wake me, i think i would remain in tat position till the dawn breaks.. hahaha..

Let the peektures do all the talking now :D
From fabulous Friday onwards..

Featuring Mr. Azreen aka Lion Woods... haha (shuping says Azreen resembles Tiger Woods, what say you?)

and by the way... a peep at our crampy staff room.. (PRIME pls come soon!!!)
Had to post this man... cos for TWO consecutive days, we were wearing the same colour!!!

The first day it was black and white and I tot it was quite common, just joked abit...
and on the second day, when I had an opening ceremony for my grey skirt, matched wif black and I tot no one would ever match it this way la, I went to the staff room, saw him and we I shrieked!! hahaha..
Mo Qi 100%!

I must say I really love my area now that I've shifted from the old place to this seat where mere colleaugues have become friends who will perk up my day anytime.
I have people coming to niap my stomach, conduct paper bomb wars, bang into my chair and put funny things at my area.. haha...
Psychotic much? heh heh

Fri was fab cos I finished rushing work in school and left feeling super accomplished..
napped and went to meet dearie shuping. :)

chitchat till wee hours is shiokedelic too :)
Just mindless talking about whatever that comes to mind.
Too bad we din get to K.. Miss ktving much.. boo :(

I was so tired I think I fell asleep during tuition. :p
The timing has changed and it is really at my non-peak hrs.
No matter how many mocha,lattes, cuppas I downed, it doesnt seem to work -___-

but..when the night falls.. hehehe..
But actually...I was still pretty tired that evening..
The girlies tot I'm in some sort of depression mode which I'm seriously NOT!

The mood only began to kick up when the clock strikes 12!

Timbe is love~

Super JELAT.
Din realised we order so muchhhhh fried stuff.
carbo overload!

Osama Bin Xian with combo!
Oso realised I dun look good with short hair.

Seh-gadelic
Drink-drank and only YT was drunk (visually), as usual... Me bo-la-sa one!

Really love the place :D (cos i wasnt bitten by mossies)
But the flight of stairs just makes u think twice, thrice or quadraple times.
hahaha. I think the red guy just tells u how we felt climbing UP that stairs.
totally upz man.

Sunday is L.O.V.E
cos Ah Zhen and I visited Nana's love nest :)

Have to be narcisstic abit here cos Miss Goh Xian Xian is donning her fa-vo-ro-ti dress!!
Been looking foward to wearing it for the longest time but I've not been out much.
hee~ =)

ok..back to the house!
Totally love the entire house cos of flowery prints every where.

Din take pics of us playing the Wii,
It was crazily fun I tell you.
3 siao chabors dancing, fighting and sabo-ing. Shiok I tell you.
without a doubt, I'm the lousiest in EVERYTHING, even Wii ya noe.
wassap man...
haha~

I guess I have to continue on the video montage for TD :(
Will upload the pics in facebookie soon.

My dearie ping guo wang shuping,
if you are reading this, you must be real bored again~
hahahaha :p
Go read that ah kai's book ok.
I love you.. mwaks.

This week wasnt like what I've expected man.
Going downhill again.
Super Bah!
Hope it was better for you :)

2009-08-24T23:39:00.002+08:00

Wassup

My LS cycle starts again....
Ahhhhhhh~~~
Something is just so wrong somewhere..
Once I start increasing my food intake, LS-ing starts.
no lump this time puuuueeeesssseeee...
-____-

I'm halfway through the blogging of my Funtastic weekend.
Work first. blah blah aside.
It's Tuesday tmr, it will be a good week ahead of us man. I just know it!
Jiayous~
=)

2009-08-18T19:27:00.003+08:00

Someone said he is interested in me.................

The guy just said it right in my face...

"I'm interested in you..."

"huh???????!!!!?????????"

"i'm interested in you!!!"

YC, can you please repeat?

Miss Goh, I'm interested in you, not the mealworm, we must all listen to Miss Goh ok?

Muahahahaha
The class just burst out in laughter.......
To laugh or to cry, you tell me?
He was actually trying to convey that he wants to pay attention.

but seriously speaking........

The children from the other classes always think I'm some angelic teacher, sprinkling fairy dust on little children. THEY ARE SO WRONG MAN.

and children nowadays are seriously not children anymore..
The naughty boys even dared to whistle this phwwwweee weeeeettt... when I walked past..
Some boys used hand signs, made a "heart shape" and told me they love me...
Boys from Harmony even tao beow from the pillars.. and giggle here and there and say blah blah likes Miss Goh.
My class just vomits and made stupid faces whenever I say "Look at my preeeetttyyy face NOW!"

These are little children from P3..(f.y.i none from my class)
can you imagine? We were just blurry koksters back then man....

I just wished I was that popular with guys man.
hahahaha

end of story.
lotsa periods tmr.
prep prep prep

2009-08-16T23:54:00.002+08:00

Can I? Will I? Would I?

Let today be the last day...
I pin on to the many things i've been pinning on..

It is pretty destructing to be living in denial..
to be living and breathing on self-weaved fantasies and fallacies...

redefine my priorities.
Day 1 starts now.

2009-08-15T03:08:00.002+08:00

Pain in the ass: Part 321138174146

It's a pain in the ass and I wished...
I could self-operate..or I would suddenly see the lump on the floor cos it dropped..
I could play the piano long enough...
I could sit down to surf the net for long enough..
I could attend a workshop in peace without half the butt in the air most of the time

I wanna sleep and wait for Saturday to come but the pain is so nagging...........

I woke up...
took antibiotics.. the painkiller..
and I gagged like crazy cos the pill was so damn bitter, so damn powdery and so damn BIGGG.

with the gagging...
comes the tears and a twinge in the heart...

I tried reminding myself..
I'm a blessed little woman...
I'm supposed to feel so loved....

from care so far from all the constant smses I received..
All the occassional whispers in my ear asking "How's ur butt?"
The concerened calls from friends....
the tagboard messages...
"nags" from mama and ahma..

but just how come..how come..how come...
there is still this void?

the empty space?

I must say I am really not used to being Miss Independent.
(after almost perpetually 9 feaking years of having a-someone-of-my-own by the side)

How did you get through your sicky days?
How did you get through your cramps?
How did you get through not smsing someone that "the taxi uncle just farted so loudly xiaaaa?"
How did you get through the need of constant self-psycho-ing that JUST ONE freaking day will MAYBE come ... and that...... some power superhero WILL appear and take pity on you again...?

and the million dollar question of..
HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH THE-BLOODY-HELL-WEEKENDS EVERY SINGLE WEEK?

and now..
I need to seriously ask myself...
am i putting away doing everything else ..
really because my butt aches or really because of my heartaches.. still?

this really can't just go on and on and on and on..
because I will lose the care...
from my colleagues...from my friends.. and maybe even from my family...

people..
dun visit my blog on weekends.
It's scarily morbid I realised..

Come back in September.
When there will hopefully be..
Updates of the glittery DnD..
a kickass ROM at a club..
Peektures with horses and ponies in the weekends
one-year-older-and-none-the-wiser peektures...

and hopefully updates of a kickass life i'm living as compared to now...

***sings**
wake me up...
when september ends...

2009-08-12T18:48:00.003+08:00

Oh-Ah-Bay-Ya-Som

Was doing my duty today and overheard the kids playing "Oh-Ah-Bay-Ya-Som"..
I was surprised by how a simple "Oh-Ah-Bay-Ya-Som" has evolved...

Have you heard the lastest version???

"Oh-Ah-Bay-Ya-Som-ba-lay-ah- ROTI PRATA- CHA KWAY TEOW"

Wahhaha... I was snacking on my aixin mianbao and chuckling away... hahahha..
Since when did roti prata and cha kway teow come into the picture man???

---------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BUTT

Anyhow,
My butt...although like Chriel had described as Grape Size....it is giving me WATERMELON-size problems. FYI Chriel.. It's not piles, It's a se-bay-jialat infection :~( Boo!

I went to the doctor again today cos the condition had worsen with each passing day...
I can no longer walk, sit,lie(on the back), or squat without squirming in pain...
Everyday, I pop the strongest painkiller before going to school, making me damn sehhhhh in class..

Already blasted 100 over buckaroos over my butt now and it's still a serious pain in the butt.
By Saturday, if it still doesnt heal... I'll be admitted to the hospital immediately :(
It is supposed to be a Friday.. but I argued with the doctor cos of my workshop.
Health or Work is more important? She asked...
BOTH was my answer. I think she would have strangled me at that moment if she could.
(you sld have seen her face man)

So people, just pray for me that the mysterious lump in the butt will vanish into thin air miraculously.
I really can't afford to go on long MC.
It will take a toll not only physically but emotionally as well (It is just not the right time for this)....so pray for me k?

Let's all chant
**Po Pi Xian's grapey butt a speedy recovery**

----------------------------------------------
HORSE POO

On a sidenote, I am damn super exhilarated and oozing with happiness when I got the email from RDA, I GOT IN!!!!!!! WooooHooooo~~~~
Some good news finally!!!!
Will be soaking in the smells of horse pee and poo in a month's time.
Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaa~
:)

wordy wordy post but i'm too lazy for peektures nowadays.
:p

2009-08-10T14:15:00.003+08:00

with the pain, it really saps up my energy to do work
I just lie on the bed all day long trying to do work.
But it is seriously distracting.
I still cant complete the PE lesson plan due today.

the infection is bringing up the fever and if i doze off....
the nightmares begins.
this morning, so much bad memories just came back from the dreams.
:'(

i'm really better off dead for now.
kill.me.
it is literally literally pain in the bloody ass.

----------------------------------

pain in the butt and pain in the heart doesnt come well together.
It must be the long weekend, with the dearest people not around and the sicky feeling.
Peeling me to the most vulnerable state again.
Once again... I've succumbed to the lonliness.
the tears, the pain.. washed ashore all over again.

2009-08-10T08:51:00.002+08:00

Potong

It's so painfuuuuuulllllll...
Just POTONG me.
:~~~(

2009-08-09T17:10:00.002+08:00

Mega Pill

Just back from the doctor once again and this time "blessed" with a big ass antibiotic pill.
The pill is as long as a medium size paper clip and width as big as a 20c coin.
KILL ME. like seriously man.
How to swallow???? I'm gagging just by looking at it already.

Seriously seriously, how bad can things get?
The doctor says if I still dun recover from this shat, I would need to go "potong" it already.
What's potong xiaaaa, I asked?

and if you've guessed it....... Operation.
In one week's time, you would know if I would need to be potong-ed or not.

It's a seriously sia sway matter which I wouldnt wanna elaborate here in case of new nicknames to the already lengthy list of names I have. hahaha..

:(
Can the worst just get to the WORST-TEST?
How to blog about happy things you tell me?
How to appreciate the kick-ass life I'm leading?
freakkkkk. gahhh.. Pui. eeek. yikes.
haha..

2009-08-05T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hug

My dad is reminding me the 313818731641th time they are leaving Singapore on Friday.
I think he's worried that instead of me taking care of my grandparents, they would need to take care of me. haahaa...
:p

and the most available bestie is also off to another country.

everyone is out this long weekend.
:(

Nana, pls pls pls carry on with the housie warming puuuuueeeesssseeee...

and you know what... the weirdest feeling just came up today.
I am so desperate for a hug, I seriously dunno why.
I look at Nadia and I almost wanted to tell her.. I want her to hug me so tight so that I cant breathe. hahaha.. can u believe it? ( a siao chabor u think?)

Hmmmm, I wonder....Do u sometimes crave for hugs too?

2009-08-05T00:08:00.002+08:00

To Cope

He doesnt love you enough to want you back..

Which is a fact that I just need to encrypt in the brain to get myself going.

Sunday was tormentous and I thought I would have literally died from the crying.
It was way too extreme, I think I didnt cry that hard ever before in my entire lifetime yet (breaking yet another record again), not even during GreatGranny's death (like opps) .

Have u seen children cry so hard that they cant breathe and yet the body tells itself that they need to take in breath..that type of crying. Yes, that's the type but like 10 times more severe.I was wailing and I thought I would just stop breathing(ask xiuzhen.. I think I scared the hell out of her).

The eyes were so swollen I think I temporarily looked disfigured. Everything I did was just so wrong, even got shouted so loudly by that blardy NTUC auntie over a small issue. Everything in my life just seemed so wrong at that point.

But life still goes on... for him.. (which I sld always keep in mind)
am glad I am not that spinster-ish OV teacher anymore or prolly not that much of it nowadays. Haa..

The shittest thing abt it is probably losing the person to share small details in life....

Like how today a BOY told me...

" Miss Goh, your that thing drop"

"what.. that thing?"

To my horror... It was my dress strap, which was a bra-strap lookalike.
-____-

A typical day in the life of Miss BlurryGhost.

He has moved on.. so easily .. without me..
and so must I...

Probably the last post on the breakup.
Sick of myself as much as you're sick of me already.

I hope to promise myself a happy post next.

MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!
GOH XIAN XIAN

2009-08-02T15:12:00.002+08:00

I didnt know it could be so fast that you could let someone appear in your life so soon again.
I didn't know I was really not appreciated to this extent.

I cried so hard that I'm left with no voice.
So hard so hard that I'm trembling.
So hard so hard I wanna flung my head against the wall to stop the pain.

Love is so painful.
I'm telling myself never to let myself near it again.

God..or just anyone..
Just rip me apart..

2009-08-02T10:18:00.004+08:00

Food

The heartbreak is taking a toll on the body..
For the first time in my life.. I felt what a full-fledged gastric pain feels like..

Anyhow.. I was here to blog abt food...
The bro makes dinner for me in very small and beautiful artistic portions.

This is yogurt with strawberries.
Shiokedelic~

Perfect hard-boiled eggs, crutons, and rockets. YUMS!

It's a quiet Sunday at home today.
Do work do work do work.
:)

2009-07-31T23:56:00.002+08:00

Every Breath Hurts

Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs.
It looks like nothing's wrong from the outside but EVERY BREATH HURTS..
Amiira Ruotola

I feel exactly like this. Whenever I breathe... it hurts.
I cry at every single place that jogs the happy memories or any moment I talk about you.
The corner in the staff room's toilet,the MRT, FishNCo and anywhere you name it.

Each day, I just wanna end work asap.
I cab home in the fastest speed, snuggle with the bolster and just cry buckets and buckets until I fall asleep to wake up and finish up my work again.

This morning..I realised I have lost so much weight
Looking at my body and hating myself more each minute..
I've never hated my body.. but today I did. :(

and......Yet again, I've degraded myself to do things I tell myself not to do,TIME and AGAIN.
What's wrong with me?
Love drives me to the extremes. crazy extremes and I hate myself for it.
I cant help it but mentally slapped myself a few times for things I do.

Is it because I love this man so much or is it that I just can't let go of something I've held on for too long.I don't have the answer to this question myself.
Still searching..

The worst thing is that my class suffers.
It's so hard not to lash it out on them, verbally.
It's subconcious but bear with me children, I'm trying my best to pull myself out of this wreck.
The chirpy joker will be back to dish out more sacarsm soon. ( I hope~)

I dunno how you handle you emotions but writing(or typing) helps me alot.
Most of the time, I always feel better with each post.
For now I've lost someone whom I can unload my problems and burdens at the end of the day, so this avenue really helps me quite a bit.
I really hope that you will not judge that he is bad and I'm good or I'm good and he's bad by the things I write.

The analytical Py says that there is no right or wrong when 2 people split. It's just 2 opposing views thats why quarrels occur. So take it from the wise man and let's be nice.
:)

2009-07-29T15:02:00.002+08:00

Minutes before....

I hate to think that you wouldnt be there.
I hate to act like there was nothing that happened between us.

It is because there was too much time?
I started to get depressed again.
I thought I was pretty strong.

I'm wrong.

2009-07-29T10:18:00.002+08:00

MC

I'm on MC today..
Totally not on purpose although some may say so.. cos it's our convo..
But I'm down with this Ah Gua voice again.. bahhhhhh..
Yesterday I was being ridiculed quite badly by the P6 class.. cos of the voice, but heck it.

Like what WQ said, our voice is our livelihood.
I better protect it.
So after contemplation till 2.30am, I've decided to give school a miss.

Life's been pretty good for now.
Probably because Mr Neo had still been showing some care.
He passed some Liang Teh (with Loti somemore, so I wont drink on an empty stomach)with those powder to Mr Security Uncle upon knowing that I've been coughing..
and yesterday was followed up with Liang Teh(with loti from four leaves :) ).

I then asked... How should I approach this act of kindess?
Positive?Negative?
He just said, take it as a neutral act.
okayness.
NEUTRAL i shall be.

So much been happening around the school especially the class of mine.
Week by week i'm being driven crazy by one act after another.
Losing my sanity bit by bit.
I must hang on, stay strong for these children I treat as my own.
I really want all of you to grow up,become useful people and not GFNs.

Anyways...
It's good to rest today and rush abit of work I've been piling up.

Off to the Doc-tar soon...

2009-07-26T18:41:00.003+08:00

Peace

I finally felt peace within because we finally talked..
To know what really went wrong and why I deserve such an ending..
and it was really because of a statement that I sldnt say and I didnt even noe..

But anyway..
Because I know.. I can bring a closure to another chapter of my life.

From the talk, I learned so much about myself that I didnt know all along..
I didnt know or I probably refuse to really admit that I'm a downright pessimistic person..

It made me realised that I really sld stop caring about pple more than myself and put some care onto myself first..haha..
Like how the other time I chose to borrow a book on sales instead of the half-empty,half-full book(a book for pessimists) for myself. If I've borrowed that book..
Maybe.. This wouldnt have happened man.. hahaha.. :p

because we talked.....
I also know that Mr Neo is really a SUPER mathematical person(much more than I ever thought...) He even calculated that if 20 years or was it 50 years down the road, if I keep repeating the same mistake.. I would have repeated the mistake for about 200 times.
That really made me laugh.... in tears.. while talking to him..

and because we talked..
I finally know why is it that I never get the "recognised" chop from him..

and because we finally talked..
I know that he would need to find someone else who loves cheese and durian(hahaha)and I really hope that this other person would also put in as much effort I put into loving him.. the pampered boy.. (bleah :p)

I must say..
these 2 years I've really put in my best to love you with my heart, soul, lungs, intestines..and blah blah blah more than anyone else I've ever ever loved..Sometimes, I feel so guilty I love you more than my family members or friends..
But.. I've never regretted...cos you've made me grown up so much in the process and made me wiser in more ways than one..

Besides Mr Neo...I'm sooo gonna miss Auntie Neo's yam cake, fried rice, chey(green) mee.. and everything about one of the better mother-in-law anyone could have
Phyllis Dajie and Jiefu and his bro..for everything and anything..
and our Lua Hot Uncle Neo and his occassional smiles..
:~(

Tonight is the last time I'm gonna cry my internal organs out so tomorrow I'll be a much braver teacher for the kids. I promise never to cry in front of children ever again man..hahaha (dun bully Miss Goh hor, later she cry again)

and Hey..
I love you..my new best friend..
:)

Big thank you to DaJie, AhBoy, PaPa and MaMa for taking over the place of a bf.. and of course every single one for being there(you know who you are), for telling me that you all will always be there..
For listening to my wailing and incoherent nonsense..
for reassuring me that I'm still pretty (haha)
Every ways and means of keeping me sane..
I wouldnt have survived it without you pple..really.
Thank you and I promise to continue to be the faithful friend for all of you too...
:)

2009-07-25T08:23:00.002+08:00

Why is it that when u r cooped up in a place... alone..
The tears will just flow endlessly..
I took a full-hour bath just sitting under the shower tearing..

The heartache just carries on..
The twisting pain I always say..
Don't think you'll even know how it feels..

The whole world asks u not to think too much..
But..how can u attain that?

Help.me.numb.my.brain....someone?
:'(

2009-07-25T01:59:00.002+08:00

I thought the change of the new job is a gateway to our marriage plans..
But never did I know that it could be the gateway to the death of our relationship..
He needs to widen networks..
He needs to spend more time with family..
He needs to catch up with friends..

He chose to give up on me.. for the achievement of all these..
or somewhere somehow.. It could be the someone else..
I'm clueless, still..

How could I not skew my thinking towards that direction when someone is so hard-hearted
....just because you gave a reason or claim it on me talking about an event in the past.
Anyone would just laugh because it's just too trivial..
There must be something else..
Something that I need to know so that I could move forward.

How many dinners, lunches and breakfasts can I still sleep through?

I must survive without someone hearing me rant about the daily stress in sch
I must survive without a friend whom knows my deepest secrets..
I must survive without hugs and kisses when I'm feeling down
I must survive without the hand-rubbing warmth when I'm cold
I must survive without the many things that I share with you in my life..

How can I grow out of the habits that I've cultivated because of you?
How can I go to school acting like nothing has happened.. when I have no one to talk to?
I can literally feel my heart squeezing and squriming in pain..
each time I lie on the bed thinking about events after events of happy memories..
The anniversaries we had, the hugs at ECP, how you pulled me out of a wreck, the first time we held hands, the birthdays we celebrated, the internal jokes we share, the funny actions I'll do to irritate zegeboy

Why can I never walk out of a relationship easily when the other party can just be happily facebooking a few minutes after we part..
Why can't I just grow stronger when I walk out from each relationship?
Why can't I be the on who holds the head up high and celebrate with my friends.. this ending?

I know I still have friends out there..
I thank each and everyone of you for the concerned smses..

But...It's just so painful...
The headache I get from the crying is stopping me from sleeping the pain away..
The worse thing abt this type of pain is that no one can pull you out of it..
You have to save yourself..

2009-07-24T19:32:00.002+08:00

Strength

I want to be the one to massage when the back aches..
I want to be the one to shop for books for you..
I want to be the one to help you type letters..
I want to be the one to tag along to JB trips...
I want to be the one you bake cake to..

Now... I can only yearn to be..

The cold looks when you said "I told you this is the last"..
I knew that nothing I do can hold you back..
What for?I keep telling myself...
Yet I never fail to cheapen yourself at the end of the relationship no matter who's at fault..

I knew your heart will never reciprocate in the same rhythm again..
I MUST give up..
Please give me the strength to carry on a normal life..
the strength to laugh with my children again

2009-07-22T20:24:00.001+08:00

Things

I see things that breaks my heart...
again... and again....

:'(

2009-06-27T01:42:00.002+08:00

Ji Rou Ma Yi Xia

One of the peektures which I love most.

Just that what's engraved behind the Ipod..
AhGohGoh Loves AhNeoNeo :) (ji rou ma..hee.. :p)

The cake that Mr AhNeoNeo was holding is complimentary from the hotel.
Thru room service and totally took me by surprise when I checked in and Tomo-the-jap-recept told me..

Look at the pillows behind.
It's medium firmness. haa..
and how come I know?.....
cos we can actually select the firmness of the pillow from 'very firm', 'medium',and 'soft'..
something like that la..
Coolness right?

Darts all for today la.
:)

2009-06-23T22:44:00.002+08:00

BusyBee

I've been crazily busy ever since the last post..
and everything's going well. (Thanks thanks super big thanks for those who asked, and you might have know what exactly happened, and if you dunno, dun ask already ok.. haha.. I wanna throw it at the back of my mind.haa)

and so....I didnt sleep my night alone on the 20th..
and actually..
One day after my last entry, we made up soon after and I've got sucha a huge surprise from MrAhNeoNeo the next day.
You probably wouldnt believe what he did. hoho..

the anniversary cum birthday celebration was also considered a success due to the fantastic location (like thank god).... cos of all days, a super crazily bad splitting headache hit me right in the morning and went haywire the moment i entered the room alone to deco. I think stress la.

and then..
I just came back from a pristine location for the birthday dinner...
and I can't wait to upload the pics to raveeeeeeeee to all of you the place and the food and the everythingggg else!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~

but..
ya know, sch is EXTREMELY busy.
with all the you-know-what and the fantastic-and-I-totally-love-it-open-inverted-commas workshop I'm attending, I really dun really have the luxury of time to post peektures.
:(

I kinda hate sch actually.
The feeling is depressing,right to the point of breaking down yet..
I pray pray pray for the better each day.
Everyone has their own clique and I look like this damn loner.
and those sarcastic comments I had to counter.total argh.
Seriously man, I dun noe I was such a good material for gossips.

enuff of unhappy stuff
back to lesson planning.
:(

2009-06-12T09:59:00.002+08:00

2 Years

Time flies like crazy isnt it?
Like how I suddenly graduated from NIE.
I've been with this man for 2 years already.

Instead of celebrating..
I ended up sleeping in a mixture of rose water and tears.
Was masking and fell asleep. -__-

Prior to that, I've already booked us in somewhere for celebration on the 20th.
A joint celebration for the birthday and the anni to salvage the big hole in the pocket.
If everything turns out yucky for us, I might need to take off from tuition and go to that place to sleep away~

Just prepping myself for the worse for what's the worse will surface no matter how hard I've always been trying to hide it within.

Out with nana later to shop the blues away.
:)

2009-06-10T20:24:00.002+08:00

The syndrome

It's the curiousity-kills-the-cat syndrome.
I don't like it yet I can't help it......
:~(

I don't know if it's the past experiences haunting me..
I don't know if it's just me...
I don't know if we were meant to be..
I don't know if I haven't spice things up enough..

But... I've really tried my best and I'm tired already.

I must tell myself, it's gonna be my last try.
It's just so tiring.

2009-06-03T00:37:00.002+08:00

Randoms & Piano Lesson 2

RANDOMS
I had wanted to post up peektures of Waraku with the poly babes..
butttttttt.. am currently slacking away at dar's hse... so it's gonna be words words and more words for this post..

Btw, did I tell you I'm assigned to an air-con class and it's a class that was revamped from a gym room.. which means MIRROR all around!!!!!!!!!!! hohohoho..

I feel super blessed and makes me appreciate even more when the it's so freaking hottttt tonite..
It's crazily hot, so hot that I think the earth might be bursting anytime soon man (a random tot while awake just now)

as for the mirrors, haha.... besides being able to self-admire (vomits) and check for any unglam moments... It is good to check on the children.. when they are actually oblivious to their surroundings and start playing under the table.. hahaha.. Funny yea?

PIANO
As for my Piano Lessons..
I really hope to have a piano so that I can pratice much more during my free time..
But I really need to know that I'm definitely into it first.. BIG investment yeah?

The teacher is really lovable and she it's really funny how she uses words like
FACE and ALL-Cows-Eat-Grass to make me remember the tau-geys.. makes me feel like a little kiddo and not forgetting the numerous encouragement she gives..

and I draw the ugliest treble clefs. EVER!

and this pretty thing here is called a treble clef, also known as a G-clef as it
starts at the G-note position. Something like that~

Hair-Standing Moment
(warning: continuing to read on may cause a hair-raising effect which is kinda undesirable yet irresistably good for some.. haha)

Big Mwaks to ZeGeBoy(haha, bleah!) NeoDarDar for showering me with luuuurrrveee these days..

I've been very eh-neh to him lately, crying over the stress and in need of lotsa hugs.
Also in terms of finance as well, AhGohGoh is oh-so-broke and xiexie AhNeoNeo for forking out for lotsa stuff. :)

Can also never thank you enough for always injecting those sensible tots into me when I "lost my way" although it can be abit cruel sometimes.. haha..

Will love you as long as you love me.
*slimy big mwaks for you*

2009-05-27T17:19:00.002+08:00

I know why...

As my brain keeps flashing the moments I got to know my class and one of the "best" experiences I had on Monday..
I actually felt like crying the whole time I think about it..
and the much dreaded stress effect came up again , I heard children shouting when i try to close my eyes to sleep
Maybe it's PMS, maybe it was the expectations, maybe it was the expressions I get.. and maybe.. it's the stress..

BUT,
after meeting the parents today..
I finally knew why..
They gave me a class that was exactly catered to my personality ;]
and YES!.. really.. as cliche as it sounds, everything happens for a reason.

Someone once told me that,as children of our mama and papa, we are specially blessed because we always have our parents praying for us, on top of the prayers we send to god.
I'm even more blessed because I have my ah ma and ah gong, so i'm super ultra blessed..
Their prayers really worked on me I guess..
I'm a super blessed chaborz.
:)

2009-05-25T20:43:00.002+08:00

Day One
Super dramatic..
was posted to one of the lower-end classes to relieve
and for the first period, I lost my voice due to the shouting
Inside me, I was asking myself, "wah~ this is what I chose to come back for"
hahaha..

But, it's not that bad after a while...the best thing was meeting the children I taught 2 years back..
Some of them came up to me and a few of them actually reminisced and clearly described all the details of some lessons I taught(some of which I've clearly forgotten).. and we were laughing about it together.

It was a really good refresher and yeah.. a good motivation for Day Number One of my first official working day in my life!!! haha..
I've always thought that the little ones (p1&2)wont really appreciate me being funny and all.. but 2 years later, these little gems have grown and it was really heart warming to know that I left an impact in their teeny brains. :)

The things we do, in one way or another will impact their lives yea?
That was the moment that I told myself, teaching is really my cup of tea, and yea.. I hope it is something I will do for a very long time~
(note: this is only day one.. haha)

Anyway..boring stuff aside...
I've got so many many stuff to post (peektures) but have yet to edit them.BAH!
haha. another day.. Beginning to love the gatherings i have with the girls..
Chomp Chomp next!!!

Piano
and yes!! Piano!!
Piano lesson was grrrreeeattt..
I love my more-nervous-than-me teacher and I fell in love with playing piano ever since my first lesson man... Gonna do my homework later and can't wait for my next session already.. =)

Thanks to the people who constantly put me down by telling me that I wont make it to the third lesson, saying how stiff my fingers and all, telling me how I wont be able to afford a piano..
You know...only people you love (like my AhNeoNeo), will keep telling you to go for it...

I don't know if you do it out of jealously or what .... or probably you don't have people who loves you (oh! poorlittlethingyyou), but.. seriously, your out-of-kindness comments ONLY pushes me forward even more.
It has always been a childhood dream FOR ME because I wasnt as privilleged as some and it is really not like your 3-min-thingy ya.. which you probably won't understand :]
and seriously seriously, freak off la!

I dunno why but I always meet people who loves to put me down in whatever I do, I guess meeting these types of people in our dog-eat-dog world are inevitable... BUT.. I tell you, the frequency I get to meet them is really siginificantly superly higher than most of you out there. Why huh?
I shall plot the chart if I'll never ever procrastinate. haa

and ya..
Like what I've mentioned..
I'm gonna go do my homework for piano now..
Oh ya.. gonna book my Advanced Theory too!

2009-05-15T19:09:00.002+08:00

Super day

To say that yesterday was great is totally a super understatement.

Although the day started early and a bit of kork things happened.
The rest of the day was just beyonddddddddddd fantatstic.

After that really almost-redundant session (except going home with a 4gb thumbdrive)
we set off for JP( yet again) for a chillax session.
The lazybum inside me was thinking I should just go home and sleep the day away..
Luckily Chriel suggested movies!!!

Needed to fill our stomachs 1st..
and luckily.. we tried out Benten!!!
The inevitable camwhore-ing session while waiting for food..

The organiser colour that I hated MOSTEST. totally fugly leh, I think it hurts my eye when I see the colour. haha
Then there's our ever busy Chriel (machiam like insurance agent) and a cross-eyed xian x)
I need a finger to do that, I admire some people with the natural ability to cross their eyes. haha

Food and the babes!

I had my Salmon Curry Baked Rice which was salmolicious yummy. Under the layer of chesse was a whole layer of Salmon!! (yums like crazy)
Nana had Black Pepper Teriyaki Chicken that was not really good but rice was chewy like mine (yums)
Mushroom Cream Soup Spaghetti which was so nice, the chef and staff were really accomodating that they needed 20 thumbs up!!

You just gotta catch ANGELS AND DEMONS man!!!!

I super thank nana and chriel for explaining to this ignorant me.
This show is one of the bestest show I've ever ever watched.
The plot and the settingggg... is totally amazing man.
I dun mind watching this twice, seriously!!
but I would needa take jet-lag pills in advance. haha
and and and..
I suddenly have this new-found appreciation for some of the geog modules I've attended.=)

I just felt like vomitting the whole time because the camera was running around with Tom Hanks and told chriel like at least five times (i wanna vomit) but I still keep raving and raving and told her during the show " I feel like vomitting but this show is reallyyyyyyyy nice!!"
hahaha...

Followed by shopping around for my bro's present..
and finally settled for the ultimate mouse!!

He just wanted a "nice" mouse to use at home.
I say for what, he said, he just wanted something nice lor -__-
No worries cos I trust my taste and only my taste. hoho
Super chioness isnt it, price is as chio as the mouse (available at top-left on pic)

Rushed to Bishan to buy a gift box and then rushed home again to prepare to meet up with the pri-sch gang
HK cafe as usual and was good to catch-up and tok tok tok endlessly.

The fun starts when we headed to Eliz's hse!!
I am totally in love with her dog, Lucky!!! (mental note to self: pls take pic with lucky at the steamboat session)
Sucha handsome baby although he just refuses to shake hands with me -_-

Thinking back, I wonder how we can just sit for hours and hours just Crapping.
No objective crapping non-stop.
We werent even asking abt each other lives, just pure pure crapping.
How did we do that?
Totally destressing~

Highlight of the night!

hahaha~
Check out AhNeoNeo!!!!! Tell me if you can spot him.
He had this darn pissed off look I tell you. total haha!
Oh.. it all because we talked about "Prefects"!!

Luckily Eliz realised the time and we stopped the session @ 11-ish pm cos everyone still had to work on a fri. boo! :(
But, it had to stopped somewhere man, our jaws were literally breaking already from the constant stomach-aching laughing.

I wonder if the steamboat session will be on or not in the end.
I look forward to seeing lucky and yet another jaw-breaking session.

Dar prepared supper for us cos I was famished like siao!
While chomping over supper, I was about telling him that they said he needed to quit smoking and all... cos everyone just tot he was out to smoke..
But no leh...
While we were inside crapping, the duo was actually outside chatting with for 2 hrs talking about their work and all.
So maturish xiaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and suddenly I have this major crush on this AhNeoNeo all over again
teehee =)

Off to packup and meetup with my "crush"
haha

2009-05-13T10:13:00.004+08:00

Weeeeee! matters

Seriously heh-pi these days~

Chillaxin @ home just reading, surfing the net, online shopping, psp-ing and catching up on my beauty sleep is pure pure joy man.
But too much of such is also boring and AhNeoNeo prefers me being buried with lotsa activities so I won't have much time to imagine things.. haha~

So, this sweetie-darling-pie AhNeoNeo is pre-sponsoring my PIANO lessons!!!!!
I am so grateful and simply ecstatic beyond words!
It's like this long long time childhood dream being fulfilled.
If everything goes well,I'm gonna take up ABRSM!
hohoho~

I also wanted to blog abt soOoooooooo many things soOooooooo long ago and only got to do up the peektures today.

Here's an update...
In total random-ness~

But.....This just had to go first isnt it?

I was trembling with fear with each click of the 50 questions..
I even checked through the answers all over again
I took a deep breath,closed my eyes and click the last pop-up..
and it flashed........ PASSED!
The feeling is totally priceless,I tell you!
(abit of shiokedelic + happiness + Yes!.. haha)

and here goes the activities~

Then there was this last week where we celebrated the almost-post-exams for AhNeoNeo..

I keep saying I must treat him to something really good and in the end, we settled for Pepper Lunch -_-"

I looked crazily fugly in that pic.
Food good nontheless and mine was smaller in comparison because I was having the student meal... :D Just nice for me!!!

and on to.............

Chillax session @ Bliss Cafe..

Say Hi~ to AhNeoNeo's family minus Uncle and Dar's Jiefu..
Mama says that I have super good koufu cos dar's family always let me tag along to their feasting sessions..
These two years(almost), I can say that I've tried a really huge array of delicacies that I've never ever tried before prior to getting together with AhNeoNeo!! (hee..*inserts blessed smile*)

and the two fatty bomboms below. I look darn fat in this pic man and not to blame anyone cos I've really ballooneeeeeeeeeed.

Prepare to *scream* and eeewww and awwww!

Mental Note to Self: pls do not be so narcissistic next time.
I totally forgot to take pics of the area that was absolutely amazing.
Alenis' Full Month was like some wedding @ the void deck, so many many people man!!!

Only these minimal pics and duncha wanna kiss her thru the monitor?I grabbed one from the private album in FB to show u all the ultimate cutieeeeeeee. She's truly a cutie pie and an ultimate beauty in the making man.

Lastly..........

Korean~

haha.. super outdated pic.
Some wrong korean restaurant that I recommended that doesnt understand the definition of Vegetarian...
Food wasnt as good as it used to be when I went with Kai and Sp and the occassions with Dajie..
:(

and another random note to end this entry.
It's been a year since we went to Beijing you know!!!
OMG, time really speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds.. like rockets.
(not that I was really keeping track but was reading the news on the SiChuan thingy and instead of emphathising, I actually said "WOW!" hahaha :p)
and off to do my Aspirin mask now...
:D

2009-05-06T23:50:00.003+08:00

Hmmmm

Edited to add:
I've finally finally did something to my Links tab.
Added beautiful updated pictures and links in alphabetical order somemore!!!
It's total chioness. Go check Go Check!

The real thing is gonna come soon.
To teach.
Was telling Kalai I was like half-happy and half-something-feeling.

I dunno how to describe the feeling.
Scared? Nervous? Apprehensive?
But... Having slogged a quarter of my life studying..
I really look forward to a change.

Many have said that I will yearn to go back to studying once I start working, but I think not.. but.. we shall see~
At most get a car license and take masters lorrr..
dardar said, "why not?"
But masters, am I up for it?
anyway.. long way to go la hor.

Lots of to-do that I need to take note of:
-->Get a hair cut + Dye hair before 25th May
-->Buy buy buy alot of budgety formal clothes at least one week worth for now(its the same sch for me la~).
-->Treats for my old pals @ SK
-->Yoga Class ???
-->JB trip???
-->Pack up my room for new stuff to come in
-->Prepare tuition stuff
-->Revise Basic Theory

One of the best things of going back..
My comfort zone, thanks to Kalai for re-affirming that almost everyone at that long table is BACK.
woooHoo..

oh yeah..
--> Welcome back speech to prepare
-->Dialogue with VP & P
basically... formal stuff that I dread.
:(

Wish me luck and pray for the best for me.. my new beginning!
:)

2009-05-05T19:47:00.002+08:00

I promise to NEVER give

Bloody hell..
Today I walked out of my house and had already walked to the provision shop..
Ah ma shouted at me all the way from my block asking me back to answer a very urgent phonecall..

I seriously thought why the hell is it so damn important..
and its the bloody NTU people asking us to GIVE.
At that moment I almost wanted to scream and brust her eardrums over the receiver.
Freak man.

How many freaking times must they call my bloody handphone
Bomb us with stupid emails every fortnight
and then bloody hell tell my family members its an urgent phonecall.
freakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...

Actually I dun mind buying the damn badge or something
but because of their bloody tactics, it just goes to show they are up to something
and these bloody people must be receiving commission man.

Wah kao, is NTU so damn bloody hard-up or wat?
what's up with the constant calling and harassing just that you donate any amount.

if they dare call me again
they are so gonna die.
so so so gonna die.

2009-05-05T10:58:00.002+08:00

Lazy Bug

While the swine flu buggie is on the high..
I, on the other hand is bitten very badly on the butt by the lazy bug.
I'm so lazy right after the exams I dunno why so.

Lazy for everything that I've nicely plan on my lengthy to-do list..
and it seems like I'm lazy to shower love to dardar as well..
I realised I'm kinda lazy to give my power massages to him lately..
Lazy to blog about anything..
Lazy to prepare for tuition..
Lazy to study for the basic theory..
Lazy for everything and anything..

and the funny part is that I'm not lazy to do all that in the midst of the exams-cramming period. haa

So lazy I slept thru the afternoon forgetting to sms dar erm.. but I was hit with a very bad headache actually (unexplainable-whole-strip-of-forehead painess~)
and he tot I was out with some guy or what..
haha.. It's funny to see MrBoChup getting worried.

I better buck up up up.
and we're going out later for a mini celebration for his almost ending exams~
Weeeee~
buck up tonite.
haa

2009-04-30T09:57:00.002+08:00

Directionless

Before everything else...
Like my blogskin???
Hee.. I love it loads~

Anyway..
I know the feeling that nana was referring to after our exams..
Like suddenly, life is meaningless after the last exams because like...what's next man..
I was feeling very directionless the whole of yeterday because I spent my morning and afternoon doing really useless stuff like mailing stuff,surfing web and facebook the whole day playing with my Jumi and oh my.. the damn addictive word challange!!

The night was way better because i met up with AhNeoNeo finally.. and for a good cause!! To to chill~ MOVIES! haha~

I wasn't really excited because we were watching:

instead of ,

but......... it was really good, i must say!
Despite sitting at the very first row -__- must squint y already squinty eyes :(
I really like Kyla and Wolverine and the Diamond girl. hoho...
What will the bf get her if he propsoses man..
Go watch!!!

anyway..
after digressing much already..

It's not really directionless actually....because I was being "enlightened" by AhNeoNeo..
He said, This is the only time where I will have time to sit down quietly and plan what I wanna do when I start teaching, instead of being a headless chicken like the last time.. haha..
We've started to get closer ever since my practicum period, so he got to track all the trama-mama that I went thru

and oh,
I need to post pictures of our post exams celebration.. and baby Alenis :D weeeeeeee~
but... I'm preparing to go for the dreadful and painful session later.. so maybbbbbeee tonight?

Which other girl hates facial like me man?
I really dread going, whenever I think of the squeezing I just want them to give me an "epidural' to the face or simply just lemme get out of that place.
arghhh...

Bye babes..

2009-04-23T15:39:00.002+08:00

Drive

The other day which was probably a week ago..
At around 2am while I was mugging for catchment I went to itchy fingers and book for my basic theory YET AGAIN. (having flunk once because I studied the morning before it and missed twice, this is like the forth time already!!)

Then, while I was trying to go to bed last night..
I realised that the date clashes so badly.
1)Start of the NIE seminar
2)My bro's 21st burpday partay

argh.
I am soooooooooooo gonna miss it again.
Fated not to lemme drive because god knows i'll be out as a danger to passengers, pedestrains and other road users yea?
-_-

So much so that our dear dad is probably sponser the downpayment and probably part of the installment when both my bro and I get the license.
hmmmm~
:(

2009-04-20T21:28:00.003+08:00

Blessed

As much as I hate exams...

It's also a time when I feel most loved by everyone in the AhGohGoh and AhNeoNeo family

heehee :D

When I'm home..

Everyone will bring me food, dessets,tea frequently.. Grapes, biscuits,pophias,rojak.. you name it..
Ah ma will tune the tele vol. to the softest, almost like watching charlie chaplin...

My mum would make all kinds of concotions. Crys Tea, Barley blah blah blah, just to make sure I'm not too juah for the exams.

Ah gong will help me check the mailbox frequently for my online buys..

My dad will not even nag when I'm out for days and days~

My bro will bring back cranberry juice + small little treats and help to wake me up in the most creative ways possible.. (e.g: like splashing water on my face) -__-

then.....

When I'm @ the Neo's..

Dar's mummy will make breakfast,lunch,dinner,supper(pao ka liaos) for us .. Super duper luncheon meat burgers, kong bah pows, cream corn soup and lotsa yummy yummy stuff~

Dar will make us supper, make coffee and breakkie for me if his mummy is busy..

Occasionally screams @ me for not waking up to study.. (Yea~... for my own good i know)

Massages, cuddles and hugs when highly stressed up..

QC if i'm surfing too much internet..

and probably things like slapping the butt if I lie down and read notes.

hahahaha~

Anyway.. it's the last of the last time I can "take advantage" of this blessed feeling.
It's truly the last and final lap~

Jiayou ba!

2009-04-18T20:38:00.002+08:00

Chillout Partay after a shitty paper

It's like I am damn sure I'm gonna get a C for this paper.
Argh.I dun wanna reminisce no more.

Peektures for you to drool at..
Both food and babes~ wooo.. hee

At JP's xtension - New York New York

Crunchy Musshies & Cheesie Ballies..
Super Yum and Super Jelak~

Looking at the pictures alone makes me hungry man.
How did nana resist the temptation to not eat?
Thumbs up to nana~

Jumbo float. Ummm~

Again, the two gluttons tian mi mi finished it up~

Poor nana.. *why I dun have muscles like the mussels?*

This was supposed to be broth.

Ended up looking and tasted like pasta.
But it was yummylicious rite, nana?

Now, the real thing to drool over.

:p since when did I become so bhb? haha

Mifen looks so motherly here...

While I look like I will fall asleep anytime.. Zipper eyes -_-

Nana looks so cheeky w/o fail. everytime..

Nana the kiddo.. I can visualise how ur son will look like..

Oh ya.. the Omnia pic.. wahahhaha~

Rite rite..

Gonna go pack my stuff and get ready to go down to mackie to eat junkie and studie wif Mr Neo Dardarie..

2009-04-14T15:05:00.005+08:00

Fifi Lapin

Jasmine a.k.a my bro's chio chio gf has given me yet another gift..
A LeSportSac lanyard....
*squeals in delight*

Fyi, according to Elle Magazine, Fifi Lapin is the WORLD's most stylish bunny..
Her LeSportSac collection is one of the nicest,I think....

but the thing about LeSportSac is that it gets sprouted in Thailand WAY tooooo fast.
:(

P/S: My Dad is really a darling...
After whining to him about how broke I'm gonna be and I won't be able to go HK,
he said he's gonna sponser me the air tickets. SQ somemore~ wOooo...
Btw, He is really terrified of budgety flights...
hahaha..

He's my motivation to go for tuition so that I can "give" more to my family~
:D

2009-04-13T15:00:00.002+08:00

I better start.............

SAVING UP!!!!!!!!!
My oh my....
I was indulging in my own retail therapy world and then suddenly..
when I was bathing, I realised that................
there are so many events upcoming and if I still don't stop cabbing and continue with my online shopping madness, I will be so dead.

♥ ♥ ♥ Vomitting my mental notes which also serve as a STERN reminder to myself♥ ♥ ♥
♥ End Apr - Alenis's first month (side note: what a nice name rite?Feminine yet there's a tinge of character right there!)
♥ Tentative May - Hen's night of the two babes (we shall do it combined ya..)
♥ June - 2 X wedding-dinner-of-the-year to attend.. (one day after another. to note: both zhong liang ji ren wu )
♥ June - Dar's Birthday
♥ June - Ping's Birthday (Ping's one day after dardar's.. to note: both zhong liang ji ren wu )
♥ June/July? shit! - Our 2nd Year Anniversary (time flies man)
♥ July - Kai's Birthday
♥ July - Jiahui's Birthday

I pray that people will call me up for assignments in June
I pray that my tuition mum will go with her promise of 4timesaweek! 7 times a week I'm also OKAY ah!
Shall wave byebye to HK Trip for the time being~
hmmm~

2009-04-09T22:23:00.004+08:00

The Last

Today marks the last day of our lessons in NIE.

Mixed feeling I must say... Celebratory yet, argh... can't wait for the exams to be over..

I would rather the last lesson was yesterday..

ending the entire thing with meaning at least and not just listening out for GEOG exam tips..

FOUR years man.

Every friend or every meet-up with the all the babes comes with this "wah, you ARE still studying ah?" comment..

and come May, I can finally say it's OVER!

I seriously can't wait for it as much as YOU do !!!!!

I am glad I was blessed with the extra 2 years of crossover which has toughen me a bit more and matured my thoughts to prepare me for the road ahead... (special thanks to the tripping stones out there, especially a big one recently :D)

although I made one-of-the-biggest-regret-in-my-life choice..

but hey... I have the POWER to change things....I'm SooOOo gonna sign up for IPA course this holidays, as a start.. somehow. Anyways, I also think it would be a bit of a haywire to throw me out to teach back then, seriously..

haha

I must seriously thank my TWO PILLARS in NIE these two years. Mifen JieJie and XIAO NAAAAAAA (hahaha, just cannot NOT irritate you all la!)

The thank-you words that I have for the both of you... are too long to post for today..after 28apr okays? nono.. 29 APR! (wooHoo)

Really man, these few days I've been conjuring the entry liao~

and this sem, thankfully...

I've gotten to know Michelle and YY, thank god for AED that I got to know that there really are still some gems out there besides my two big blingy diamonds.

(warning: digressing liao~)

because I had some alone time today..

I was just reflecting and thinking that many times, because I'm hurt by just one silly incident, my thoughts get so caught up with it I can be so hurt and angry for days and days..

and when I'm angry I am desensitized to the feelings around me..

So much so that... I didn't know that the world might be falling apart for someone close to me while I was busy shouting some F-word over some insignificant matter as compared.

Like why didn't I realise our dear KaiXinBao sadsad de~

and I only WOKE up after some random chitchat with Mifen jiejie.

I'm kinda slow in terms of coming up with consoling words especially on-the-spot situations... (zhen dui bu qi)

But you noe, in my heart I'm praying damn hard that the turbulent times will be over for your family soon. May it be just menopause, may it be just the need for more attention or more care frm ur papz.. and hopefully the happy times will be here soon. Must have FAITH and YES, you must do something to jiayou for ur family.

*pray pray pray*

shall digress even further now~

My 2 weeks old baby.

So fast man~ It has been two weeks and I still dun really understand "her" yet~

Sadly, the camera isnt as super as my omnia~
but nonono worries, LDS is coming :X

Only ONE word to describe........... CHIONESS!

Chioness1

Chioness2

Chioness3

Chioness4

:D
Ok, Time to burn oil lo~

2009-04-07T11:39:00.001+08:00

ADHD

I think I have it.
I CAN'T FOCUS !
argh.

2009-04-06T15:02:00.001+08:00

What a feeling...

Having cramps and at the same time...
reflecting on celebrating WHAT'S RIGHT with the world.
-___-

2009-04-04T21:34:00.002+08:00

Hawt and so dead

My Oh my~
The weather is totally in the shit-est ever ya?

and the shit-est thing to think about is...
How to complete:
2 X 11 pages of reflections
1000 words reflection
5 minute presentation by Wed?

So dead yet so dead.

On a lighter note,
I woke up to a beautiful morning today~

Ai Xin Breakfast - Check!
Perk-Me-Up Coffee - Check!
Mr NeoDarDar strolling with me to the station - Check! Check! Check!

Just a short post to refrain me from dozing offfff~

Jiayou Nana Babe and Mifen Babe!!

I yearn for a weekend free from assignments,
Nearly four years of crap already.
I've had enough!!!!!

2009-03-31T23:04:00.003+08:00

Unhappy thoughts such as this ought to be deleted.

2009-03-26T23:20:00.003+08:00

Life is Beautiful~

I just got to know SoOoOoOOo much good news in a very short time span..
all squeezed together at the same time and I'm currently in a hyper-ventilation mode that I cant settle down to do my assignments!!!!!!!
oh~ haha.. what an excuse..

But tmr is gonna be a busy day for me..
I shall rush my assignments out by tonight hopefully...
Bless me~

I chanced upon this pic we took @ Malacca on Vday.. =)

Totally cheesy looking yet cant resist the temptation to go over for a snap...

Babes~ Have a great weekend ahead yeah?

2009-03-16T20:02:00.002+08:00

This Place

How has this place mould me??

I've become so dead tired
I've become so ultra lazy
I've become so un-motivated to do work
I've become so arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It's nearing the end of the road and the start of yet another.....
and I don't feel the gung ho-ness I felt 2 years back..

are we getting old or are we getting old??

2009-03-13T09:58:00.002+08:00

Drama Mama Day

It was such a stressful day after the project meeting..
not stressed about projects but a series of events that followed suit after the meeting...

1)Endless phonecalls and smses during tuition
and cos the best thing is that the session last for 3 hrs..
the phone was just buzzing non-stop and I couldnt pick it up or look @ it..
in the fear of "the eye" behind my back..
Super irritating...

When I wasnt having tuition, my phone is just literally dead la.
But after tuition starts..
Streams of phonecalls and smses will start coming in..
What's up man!

3)1 hr grilling session from the parents again
It's just totally drama mama.
and MrNeoDardar (yes! he's back, haaaaa) said that we'll need to sit down and seriously discuss the strategies to approach my tuition kid..
I'm really in need such math gurus in my life..
haha...

3)SMS from VP
Just when I was scanning thru my list of smses and missed calls..
I really got a super shock and I read the sms three times just to confirm I got it right. It's so drama mama that can't I put it in words.

and yeah..
Time to start work and can't wait to meet the pple from my bestest friend club(hahaha) later!!! :D :D :D

2009-03-09T14:08:00.002+08:00

A disastrous weekend..

One of the worst ever weekends I've ever had..
The Cramps + Tuition Stress + Assignments @ the back of my mind + Sleepy as always + Hungry + the worse thing that happened..

I have endless things to say..
I want to seek opinion, to clear my doubts ... and if possible..
Hoping to turn back time, to not have made the phonecall but to just rush into the arms to seek comfort after that stressful morning...

Yet, things have happened..
and since there's no machine to send me back to that morning..
I have to say.. at any time, I'm still not ready to apologise and to give in..

Someone once said...
how sad it is... when one falls in love..
One is giving the other, the power to hurt you but trusting them not to..
How many times must I come out of a relationship torn and tattered because I gave them the power to?
Many times, even when it way out of my personal beliefs, my pride... I give in..
Even though I look back but find myself stupid.. I still give in...
But am I doing it right?
Instead of becoming stronger, I became a paper tiger..
looking strong but totally powerless..

Even if you give me the most extreme demands, I couldnt take it...
I have still given in.. because this is ME..
I thought you would have appreciated my giving in and would know when to not push your limits too far..

but this time... YOU, indeed have gone too far..
I know you know it..
Yet again.. you expect me to give in like I've always done..
Don't I deserve it? Is it because I'm not worth it that's why you've given me up?

Crying is so painful..
But it certainly feels good if minus the headache.

2009-03-07T19:33:00.002+08:00

I met a cutie

Went shopping @ Auntie Lucy on Friday and wanted to buy Jagabee..
When I walked towards the tibits section,
there was only 1 pathetic cup there and there was a boy right in front of me who was also reaching out for it..

So.. I voiced out to dar saying..
I want Jagabee..
That boy probably only at the age of ard P1..
turned around and offered the jagabee to me!!!!!

That was such a sweet gesture and I was really touched man..
A child giving up tibits to this greedy adult here..
haha~and of cos, can't bear to snatch it from that little thing..

He really brighten up my gloomy night after tuition that day..
:D

This sem is plagued with presentations after presentations man...
Powerpoints after powerpoints..
and I've only just started with my reflection...
*gasps*
:p

2009-02-27T09:46:00.008+08:00

Malacca Trip

Some time to spare before going for my facial..
So here goes..

My Malacca trip..
Nothing much there really....
but the memories goes a long long way...
:)

we were supposed to wake up @ 5am but... we overslept till 6AM!
MrNeoDarDar is as usual la, being a pig... I think I can be excused cos I was rushing for ACE till 2am~ haha.. :P If e both of us were gonna take plane we were gonna be so dead..Thank god Keith (dar's friend) is oso slightly late..

the pic says it all..
We look so CHUI!
and thank god I wasnt those read-notes-in-car-will-get-giddy type..
So... I could still flip my notes in the car..
:)

The trip was like 2-3 hrs long..
and the first stop was at some Shell station where we stock up Cottage Fries!!!
We don't have it in Singapore anymore... we realised~

we couldnt check in 1st...
So we shopped at some ulu shopping centre and had Shakey's Pizza..
and after bout 20-30mins.. we asked and they said the machine is SPOILT.
so arghhhh man.. we were like hungry like crazy..
and thats Keith's cutie turtle which accompanied us at the backseat the 2days..
SO CUTE!

and the flowers were almost dying @ the backseat..
So....

and now..
Lemme present to you something special..

hahaha..
My bruise after the SOH-ING by MrNeoDarDar..
I told u he was powderful isnt it.
He soh-ed it for me the day b4 the trip and I was screaming like some mad cow..
and the next 2 days, I walked around Malacca in shorts like some chabor with some orh chech diesase -__-

basically for the trip..
we just ate ate and ate and at nite..
We did went to the famous Jonker street and jsut anyhow sat at one place to eat tze char and it was SOOOO NICEEE!
No pics though.. I tot it was rather rude cos there was oso Keith and Carol..
So no pics for food..

after we went back..
there was something fishy going on cos the two guys left the two gals @ the lobby and just disappeared into thin air..
hahaa..
actually they went into the room to prepare something nice..
while the both of us just sat @ the lobby chatting and guessing~

our pressies..
I'm damn touched by the notice board thing that dardar made.
cos I think I casually remarked that I wanted to decorate my room with our pics when we went to Ikea donkey years ago..
and those candles were Cranberry scented ones.. so sweet smeeling and definitely appropriate for the always UTI me.. wahahhaha

while me being the broke chabor..
Self-made a fake bah-hu bread as the card, the figurine I didnt have the chance to give(now we have a pair... Weee~) and the Visor that he was lemming like crazy for forever..
we walked into WOS for like 10 times and he still din buy it..
and and and a dinner we had last sat.. Which I will post.. hopefully soon :)

Day 2 pics are more exciting.
but I wanna go grab something for breakfast now..
sooooo.. part 2 will come soonnnnnnnnnnnnn.. hopefully~

2009-02-18T22:15:00.003+08:00

Stupid

Sometimes I really wonder if the word stupid is written ALL OVER MY FACE.

2009-02-17T12:59:00.002+08:00

Refreshed Yet So Dead

My Vday surprise was a trip to Malacca!
One more pair of chop-chop in my passport :D
Andddddd... I have tonnes of peektures in my phone and camera that I've yet to load.. -_- way to busy yeah~ %*(*&%

Although it was a double-date trip..
It was totally enjoyable..thanks to Keith and Carol too :)
and a big SHOUTOUT to MrNeoDarDar..
**Thank You So Much for Planning this secret trip. Mwaks Mwaks**
I totally love small trips like this as it sort of like bring our relationship up to another level..
hee..

and haiz...
since..our super assignment is still like a piece of shit stuck at the ass..
I'll only update again over the weekends..
back to getting that piece of shit out of the ass
=_=#

2009-02-14T00:59:00.004+08:00

Part III?!?!

Have you been on a cab that suddenly just went slow motion..
Then the drive started to drive like a SNAKE.

and then...

you look at the mirror and realised

HE FREAKING FELL ASLEEP!!!!!!

OMG!
I tried talking to him but he continued sleeping!
-__- Anyway.. I arrived @ Dar dar's house in one whole piece still..

I pray that the cabbie driver will also get home in ONE WHOLE PIECE and get some sleep man!!!

2009-02-12T21:54:00.004+08:00

What a day PART II

OMG!!
2009 just got more exciting for me..

after that pai tee gong incident..which I felt was kinda "exciting"
Today comes another one..
I was stalked.
From my fries-eating session @ Mac to Bubble Tea Shop to POSB ATM to long walk to interchange and then right after the interchange..
Only @ the interchange then I REALISED.
THEN HE SPOKE.
I sprout some nonsensical stuff..
and lucky ducky I am..
All is well.. *phew*

Chriel says: "Must be your G-String La!"
Ah Xian says: "Simi G-string? today I was wearing my yellow dress and SOK KOR (a.k.a ah ma tights) INSIDE my dress ya noe?"

Seriously la CEREAL, What G-string man?
Since when did i wear obvious G-string out to show the world man.
And... all along u sld noe that I have always paired my skirts with shorts de ma~

Did I look like some BAR GIRL today?

+_+

2009-02-11T22:37:00.003+08:00

What a day!

Just had to blog about my pai tee gong incident man.

After visiting Bakerz Inn for some macaroons this morning..
I decided to take a leak..
and then...

JP being JP has the slippery-est floor ever!
and there was some pool of water on the flooring which I obviously did not see..

and POMP!
I ssssssliiipppp and fell...
and when I fell... I sssllliiippp AGAIN!
in a pai tee gong position.
totally unglam, in my dress somemore!!
Can you IMAGINE.
ARGH!

The first thing I did was to look at my surroundings.
Everyone just did wat they were doing,
only an auntie looked at me and gave me a i-find-u-a-nuisance look.
I quickly stood up and scramble and nearly slip again.

WAT A DAY MAN.

It still looked ok in the noon..

When I got home......................

Ouch!

Mr Neo Dardar says he's gonna "soh" it when we next meet.
and i'm hoping he will forget about them man.
His soh-ing power is absolutely... powerful that he will leave u speechless LITERALLY!

and oh man..
Saturday is approaching!!!!
I'm so excited yet feeling stressFULL that Vday is coming..

btw~ hehe.. I'm going on a secret trip that mrneodardar planned.
So..... I'll be away this weekend.
yuuhuu.. heehee~
=)

2009-01-29T22:54:00.002+08:00

CNY CNY CNY

YO! Happy CNY! * gong xi gong xi*
Yea~ I'm late.. VERY late..
This had been the case for FOUR YEARS..
Never had the luxury of time to enjoy CNY due to the wonderful sch i've been attending..

I skipped the gambling sessions with my ah ma
I bring notes to visiting..
I was typing my assignment when we went BKK for CNY celebration last year..

How much have I gave up man?
I wonder if it's all worth it?
But well well...
It's all coming to an end soon and I really hope for the better next year ONWARDS!
(ah zhen, do u spend your CNY marking papers -_? hahaha...)

CNY was spent watching movies..
I watched both the Fann Wong and the Hui Ge one..
Although the former wins hands down but..
both were soso~ movies..
I'm just ooohhhing and aaaahhhing over the gowns the apparels and how pretty and suave the leads were.. haha.. Totally bimbotic.

School had been hectic..
always the case during the jan/feb period..
I've been typing away ever night (if I don't doze off) and I just realised, I couldnt have a piece of mind if I did not enter the toilet with my readings
-_-~

I'm terribly lethargic today..
and just don't have the "kick" to do work..
But I have to..
(T_T)

Finally will be meeting dar tmr..
machiam like eons man.
u better watch out, gonna smack ur fat butt like crazy!

2009-01-15T01:07:00.002+08:00

Edited Version

Just started editing out of bo-liao-ness and I LoOOoOoveeee this silly pic..
Haha..
The beary hairband fits Mr Neo Dardar just fine..

HmMmmM... So green with envy looking thru dajie's nihon pics..
I wanna go travel too~
After Hong Kong..
I shall aim for JAPAN!!!!!

肥蛋先生... Shall we?
:]

2009-01-13T23:52:00.003+08:00

Lethargy

Although we have one module lesser but due to the timetable..
everthing seems to suck..
We start late, we end late..

Can't seem to pull myself up in the morning to do work..
and I cant seem to get myself to work through the late hours anymore..
After nearly 4 years in NIE, I'm becoming so burnt out that there's no drive for anything man..
or probably... its one of my PMS symptoms again..

I really need to do something about it and...
Chriel's MSN nick says:
心若改变，态度就会改变；态度改变，习惯就改变；习惯改变，人生就会改变

so if I want my 人生 to 改变
I must change my 习惯
and if I wanna change my 习惯
I have to change my 态度
and if I have to change my 态度
I have to change my 心

Like how exactly?
Pls enlighten ah xian..
haha..

Some buys last week..

I've started using the folder...

and rain doesnt fall on me these days.. so it's still sitting in my bag..

and oOoooO... another jetoy collection..
Love it.. and finally got to using it already..

Miss S's face suddenly came to mind.
I better get my butt moving..

2009-01-12T00:11:00.003+08:00

I'm soOoooo gonna MIA

For the next upcoming 4 months..
it's gonna be a shiong like crazy time for Chirel and I..
while Neh Neh will breeze her way through..
3 day week!!!like what the hell!!! **^%#%^#

Anyway...First week is done and I almost felt breathless..
So many things on my plate and so many happening events at the same time..

the new tuition assignment I took up which is demanding yet enjoyable..
Stalf Tuition
Nieces' Tuition
Endless school tasks..
Meet-ups with the babes..
CNY shopping..

and so much more that which I think I wont be able to handle..

and pure shit case!!! I forgot to take pics at dar's korkor hse!!
I tot it would be good reference for you gals..

So ya..
Come back 4 months later ya?
Probably to view our graduation photos..
Hahaha..

Actually.. I might be back to post the pre-suicidal thoughts again
look out ya?
haha..

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo..

Miss Artificial Lashes and Mr Shortie Grumpy.. heh~

2009-01-05T21:40:00.003+08:00

OH - MY - GOD

Do u know who is that oily man without the "masked" face?
OMG!!!! hahaha...

I feel proud yet at the same time I feel like rolling on the floor laughing!
looking at this guy, who used to be bullied by us to wear skirts to model outside our house..
and now.. he is all so grown up and wearing trunks modelling + some disgusting bronzy oil applied on his body for ALL to see..
How...............funny!
hahahaha..

Anyway..
Today was the first day of school after so long..
and yeah~ it was good..
We will have the SEXY S for 4 hours a week,on the first timeslot on both Monday and Tuesday.. that means!!!!! On both days, we start our wonderful day seeing her face and telling us about her favourite phrases like - "guys, the world outside is cruel (how MOTIVATING!)"
How nice.. We totally love the arrangement right, Chriel?
and OooOooOo... I'm so totally HONOURED to be her servant - the class rep!
*wide wide gleeful smiles*

and we actually have a god-sent tutor for Math (pedagogy)
She's a really a nice person la!(I'm totally serious now)
but the module is gonna suck so bad for me and chriel cause one of the component is to solve TEN FREAKING CHALLENGING PROBLEM SUMS!

Before the both of us stepped into the class, we were reminiscing about the wonderful times when we had Ah Zhen, Terrance, Raymond, and Sharon (was there someone else?), we suddenly missed the times when Ah Zhen and T will quarrel and us relying heavily on all of them which was why we managed to scrapped through it..
Awwwww~ Those were the times..
We miss Maddie Fong Ah Zhen Madly today.. (Did u sneeze like crazy today?)
(T_T)

HmmMm...
It's ten already..
and we have two readings to complete by tmr.
Wish us luck and I hope the revolver would not land on my brain this semester.
=)

P/S:By the way.. Do u all know that the items on my blogskin can be moved around..
The "Poppy" sticks, the cutie coffee mug, the paperclips and all..
Are u hungry already nana?

2009-01-03T23:55:00.003+08:00

Confidence

Hmmm...Do you have it??
I think I'm terribly lack of it..
In many situations in my life.. especially after entering NIE,
I have questioned myself numerous times..
Where have the aura of my confidence gone to?

The gung-ho-ness in Poly and Secondary Sch days..
Not saying I was totally all out like some freakish bitch..
But.. at least not in this present pathetic state..

Until Dear Maddie Fong - the Queen of Confidence, chided me about my lack of confidence once again.. (after 1.5 years of not being in the same train-ride gossiping)
I think this isnt the first time she's mentioning but..
Only this time.. It really jogged my thinking quite a bit and I started reflecting..

This confidence issue has set me back quite a bit at several occassions and sometimes I really failed to realise why until I seriously sat down and started reflecting..

The lack of confidence caused me to lose out at so many situations resulting in the loss of countless "stuff" in monetary terms, in grades and blah blah blah..

and today, once again..
the not-confi ah xian is at it again..
Shall not naggggggg on it..
But, i took a bold step forward though..
All thanks to ah zhen..

The 2009 xian must bring back the confidence in her yeah!!!

Peektures!!!!

We were a bit "adventurous" on New Year's Day..
and actually wanted to go east coast park for some blading for me and cycling for dar..

but.. we ended up in Punggol Park!! (lazy-bumy-us)
haha.. It was SooOoOoO fun and adventurous blading from Sengkang to Punggol as the both of us were kinda "rusty"!

The camwhore in me..
I JUST realised I din take a pic for dardar on the bike!
hehe~

Super Auntie!

After shopping with dardar in the heartlands..
and ONLY when I entered the lift and admire myself in the "mirrors"
my-oh-my.. I look like SHIT, totally!!!!
ONLY noticed when I AlMOST back at his hduse already
=_+!

Alritee...
Gotta go bathe..
Study my Basic Theory (T_T)
and snuggle up (weeee~)